A Life Well Lived: An Ode to My Gran

I wrote the following to honor my grandmother's life, and it was read at her funeral this past spring.  Gran was the most inspiring and Christlike lady I have known, and regardless of whether you knew her, I hope you also are in some way inspired by her legacy.  I still miss her so much it hurts, but I rejoice to know that she is finally Home with her Lord and Savior, as well as my grandaddy.

Gran at her 90th birthday celebration in 2010, with my daughter, Kate

Margaret Dean Butler, known as “Gran” to many, including myself, was an extraordinary lady who lived a simple life with great love.  In the Bible, Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment.  He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 37-39).  Gran exemplified these two verses in the way she lived each day.

Without a doubt, Gran loved the Lord more than anything else. She loved God’s Word and read it daily.  Her Bible was always next to her recliner in her den, often opened.  Her refrigerator was covered in Bible verses written on post-it notes or small scraps of paper.  She taught the importance of memorizing verses to her children and grandchildren and would recite them often herself.  I will always remember the first verse she taught me, “God is love” – a simple but very important one.  One of her favorites was Psalm 118:24 – “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  During many of our visits, she would bring words of Scripture into our conversations.  She was an active church member, and I cannot remember her missing church except when she was very sick.

Gran was a worrier, but she also knew the power of prayer.  She was a prayer warrior.  If you asked Gran to pray for you, you knew she would do so, and often.  As a little girl, I remember being at her house one day, and she had lost her glasses.  We looked all around and couldn’t find them anywhere.  She stopped and we prayed together for God’s guidance to help her find the glasses.  Sure enough, right after that, she found them.  That is only a small example of many, but as a child, it taught me an important lesson – to trust God fully with the small and the big things, and to go to Him in prayer immediately.

Gran is one of the rare individuals who I can say truly “loved her neighbor as herself.”  She put others’ needs ahead of her own and always had time for people.  She had the most wonderful gift of talking with people one-on-one.  She made you feel special, because she was truly interested in what was going on in your life.  Gran’s first concern was someone’s relationship with the Lord.  She had a gentle, but direct way of witnessing to and encouraging people, which I saw many times during my growing up years.  Even during her last month in the hospital, during one of my visits, a physical therapist shared with me how she was so thankful that Gran asked her about her faith.  Numerous lives have been changed because of Gran’s caring Christian influence.  She also gave unselfishly and without hesitation – when there was a need, she sought to fill it.  She cared little for material possessions but instead was focused on an eternal perspective. 

Gran was devoted to her family, and she built a simple home filled with love and laughter.  When asked about how she met my grandfather, she would recall how she saw him across the street from her front porch one day after he’d returned from the war and thought he was nice looking.  They were married for 53 years, and their marriage was a model for others to follow.  They truly loved each other and shared a friendship as well.  I think it can best be summarized by a plaque she bought him for one of their anniversaries that said, “You are my sunshine.”   She was a wonderful old-fashioned Southern cook but preferred recipes with “few ingredients,” as she would say.  Her vegetable suppers with thin, crisp cornbread will always be remembered.  She was a model mother and grandmother. 

I think my brother and I spent about as much time at Gran’s and BB’s house, as children, as we did at our own house.  We were always welcomed with open arms and good snacks.  I can’t think of a time when a box of Chips-a-hoy cookies were not in Gran’s kitchen.  She did interesting and fun things for us, like planning scavenger hunts around the house, walking to the library for the summer reading program and going through the Jack’s drive through for a hot apple pie on the way home, and fixing me my own art area in a corner of her den, complete with a small desk, paper, and the big box of Crayola crayons.  One time, we wrote a book together, and she typed it up on her typewriter, let me illustrate it, and bound it with staples.  “The Monster Who Came Down Watertank Hill” may not have been a literary masterpiece, but it sure did make me feel special.

Gran was also surprising and funny, in many ways.  She had a wonderful dry wit and the ability to make others laugh, often without even trying to be funny.  She grew up during the Depression and attended college at The University of Alabama, earning a degree in library science.  In a letter home to her parents, she described being scared of sliding down the fire escape during a drill, so she had a friend to wait at the bottom to catch her. She was offered a job on a bookmobile but declined it to marry my grandfather.  She did not much care for animals but she did keep “Mama Cat” for its long life of 20 years, although the vet would come to her house and catch it for shots, since she refused to touch it.  One time, Gran and her sister ordered my uncle a miniature pony from some sort of paper ad, but she was surprised when it turned out to be a little larger than they expected. 

Gran was beloved by many.  I cannot count the number of people who have shared with me over the years how special of a lady my Gran is.  I agree with them wholeheartedly.  Mother Theresa stated, “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”  That is what Gran accomplished during her 91 years.  May her Christlike and others-centered legacy be an inspiration to us all, as we remember her today and in the days to come.