A Life Well Lived: An Ode to My Gran

I wrote the following to honor my grandmother's life, and it was read at her funeral this past spring.  Gran was the most inspiring and Christlike lady I have known, and regardless of whether you knew her, I hope you also are in some way inspired by her legacy.  I still miss her so much it hurts, but I rejoice to know that she is finally Home with her Lord and Savior, as well as my grandaddy.

Gran at her 90th birthday celebration in 2010, with my daughter, Kate

Margaret Dean Butler, known as “Gran” to many, including myself, was an extraordinary lady who lived a simple life with great love.  In the Bible, Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment.  He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 37-39).  Gran exemplified these two verses in the way she lived each day.

Without a doubt, Gran loved the Lord more than anything else. She loved God’s Word and read it daily.  Her Bible was always next to her recliner in her den, often opened.  Her refrigerator was covered in Bible verses written on post-it notes or small scraps of paper.  She taught the importance of memorizing verses to her children and grandchildren and would recite them often herself.  I will always remember the first verse she taught me, “God is love” – a simple but very important one.  One of her favorites was Psalm 118:24 – “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  During many of our visits, she would bring words of Scripture into our conversations.  She was an active church member, and I cannot remember her missing church except when she was very sick.

Gran was a worrier, but she also knew the power of prayer.  She was a prayer warrior.  If you asked Gran to pray for you, you knew she would do so, and often.  As a little girl, I remember being at her house one day, and she had lost her glasses.  We looked all around and couldn’t find them anywhere.  She stopped and we prayed together for God’s guidance to help her find the glasses.  Sure enough, right after that, she found them.  That is only a small example of many, but as a child, it taught me an important lesson – to trust God fully with the small and the big things, and to go to Him in prayer immediately.

Gran is one of the rare individuals who I can say truly “loved her neighbor as herself.”  She put others’ needs ahead of her own and always had time for people.  She had the most wonderful gift of talking with people one-on-one.  She made you feel special, because she was truly interested in what was going on in your life.  Gran’s first concern was someone’s relationship with the Lord.  She had a gentle, but direct way of witnessing to and encouraging people, which I saw many times during my growing up years.  Even during her last month in the hospital, during one of my visits, a physical therapist shared with me how she was so thankful that Gran asked her about her faith.  Numerous lives have been changed because of Gran’s caring Christian influence.  She also gave unselfishly and without hesitation – when there was a need, she sought to fill it.  She cared little for material possessions but instead was focused on an eternal perspective. 

Gran was devoted to her family, and she built a simple home filled with love and laughter.  When asked about how she met my grandfather, she would recall how she saw him across the street from her front porch one day after he’d returned from the war and thought he was nice looking.  They were married for 53 years, and their marriage was a model for others to follow.  They truly loved each other and shared a friendship as well.  I think it can best be summarized by a plaque she bought him for one of their anniversaries that said, “You are my sunshine.”   She was a wonderful old-fashioned Southern cook but preferred recipes with “few ingredients,” as she would say.  Her vegetable suppers with thin, crisp cornbread will always be remembered.  She was a model mother and grandmother. 

I think my brother and I spent about as much time at Gran’s and BB’s house, as children, as we did at our own house.  We were always welcomed with open arms and good snacks.  I can’t think of a time when a box of Chips-a-hoy cookies were not in Gran’s kitchen.  She did interesting and fun things for us, like planning scavenger hunts around the house, walking to the library for the summer reading program and going through the Jack’s drive through for a hot apple pie on the way home, and fixing me my own art area in a corner of her den, complete with a small desk, paper, and the big box of Crayola crayons.  One time, we wrote a book together, and she typed it up on her typewriter, let me illustrate it, and bound it with staples.  “The Monster Who Came Down Watertank Hill” may not have been a literary masterpiece, but it sure did make me feel special.

Gran was also surprising and funny, in many ways.  She had a wonderful dry wit and the ability to make others laugh, often without even trying to be funny.  She grew up during the Depression and attended college at The University of Alabama, earning a degree in library science.  In a letter home to her parents, she described being scared of sliding down the fire escape during a drill, so she had a friend to wait at the bottom to catch her. She was offered a job on a bookmobile but declined it to marry my grandfather.  She did not much care for animals but she did keep “Mama Cat” for its long life of 20 years, although the vet would come to her house and catch it for shots, since she refused to touch it.  One time, Gran and her sister ordered my uncle a miniature pony from some sort of paper ad, but she was surprised when it turned out to be a little larger than they expected. 

Gran was beloved by many.  I cannot count the number of people who have shared with me over the years how special of a lady my Gran is.  I agree with them wholeheartedly.  Mother Theresa stated, “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”  That is what Gran accomplished during her 91 years.  May her Christlike and others-centered legacy be an inspiration to us all, as we remember her today and in the days to come.

Theme Word for a New Year

Last January, I read a story in Guideposts magazine about an author who, through prayer, chose a theme word for each year - kind of like a New Year's resolution, but broader - something she could use to remind herself of her goals and relate her life events to throughout the upcoming year.  I really liked the idea and decided to choose my own.  My theme word for 2011 was Focus, and I referred back to this word many, many times across various situations in my life over the course of the past year.  This theme word led me to complete the final phase of my doctorate, create a mission statement to clarify my goals, and identify and begin to address many distractions in my life.

As 2012 drew to a close, I was excited about choosing a new word for 2013.  I started thinking about it a few weeks ago and initally selected peace, as Jeff and I have been talking a lot lately about ways to reduce our family's level of busyness and stress in order to have more peace in our home and lives.  I thought of one of my favorite Bible verses, John 14:27:  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  Peace would be a very appropriate theme word for the new year!  

But... as I often do, I ran ahead of God.  I hadn't stopped and prayed about my word - I just haphazardly picked something out of the air.  I always say that when I see/hear/read something related several times in a row, I know God's trying to get my attention.  This happens to me all the time - most often through Scripture - and it always holds a direct application to my current life circumstances.  One day last week, within a period of a few hours, I came across the word power in a Biblical context in at least four different places.  Then, in the following days, I have literally read or heard something every single day that dealt with power.  I've actually laughed out loud the last few times I've come across it! 

The more I began to think about it, the more I realized power - from God's perspective - was exactly the word I needed for this upcoming year.  When we think of power in a human sense, we often think of physical force or authoritative power.  But God's view of power is much different.  Throughout the Bible, over and over again, God tells and shows how, in order for his purposes to be achieved, His people must live in submission as He pours out His power into and through us.  I am independent, stubborn, and self-reliant.  I like to set goals and make plans to reach them... but I often fail because I burn out, because I try to do it all in my own strength.  Through Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Spirit, God has thankfully made a better way for us, if we will only choose to trust Him. 

Romans 8:2:  
And because you belong to Him (Christ), the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. 

Ephesians 1:19-22:  
I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things...  

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
... Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me... For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Philippians 2:13:
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.  

So, weird as it may seem,
I am claiming power as my theme word for 2013
and resolving to daily submit to God's authority.
This is exactly what my worrying, planning, over-analyzing tendencies need.  

 To rest in Him.  

To abide in His grace.  

To experience freedom - from worry, from fear, from expectation.  

To live weak in myself and strong in His power.

Won't you join me in choosing a theme word for your 2013?

Why I write...

Maybe it's because I use words to make sense of the world.  Maybe it's because, as I get older, I care less and less about what people think of me.  Maybe it's because I'm just a little bit crazy! 

I have to do a lot of writing for my job - making presentations and summary handouts for my teaching, writing articles, and drafting research and grant proposals.  Sometimes it's invigorating and other times grueling.  There are days when the words flow freely and others where it feels like trying to draw blood from a turnip.  But the end result is almost always worth the effort.

Some girls can sing like a Disney princess, and others can run a sub 6-minute mile. I personally can't do either of those things, but for whatever reason, God gave me the ability to write, to weave words together in a way that makes sense, and, while it scares me a little, I know He wants me to use that gift for His glory.

I've toyed with the idea of starting a blog for a few years now.  Not an informational blog - I've done a little blogging on education and technology - but a more personal blog where I share a glimpse into my mind and heart.  Although not all share my opinion (look no farther than your Facebook or Twitter news feed), I believe that some information is better kept private than shared with the whole world.  Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still prefer a written journal over social media for much of my personal reflection. But there is indeed something magical about allowing a degree of transparency in one's written thoughts; as such, an insightful, well-written piece often holds great power to inspire others and even prompt them to action.  Countless times, I have been inspired by something someone else has written - in print and through blogs or notes online.  

A few years ago, I attended an inspiring academic writing workshop given by Ken Henson, a very accomplished, yet unusually humble, writer with many years of experience. He said something that really stuck with me:  "Writing is exciting, and I've never understood why people make excuses about it. We write because we have something worthwhile to say, something that would not be shared with the world otherwise."

So, because I have something to say, something to share, in 2013, I will write.  I'd be humbled if you'd join me on this adventure!